I vividly remember feeling like I’d run out of time and failed at life when I was ten years old.
There was a variety show on TV with some kids my age and younger performing different talents. My Dad said, “Wow Mandz, these kids are your age and they are already rich and famous”. My immediate reaction was guilt. What had I been doing with my time on this Earth? These kids could already play piano, belt out show tunes, complete insane acrobatics–and me? I couldn’t even do a proper hand stand yet.
That is the point when I became overwhelmed by all the stuff I didn’t know–all the stuff I couldn’t do.
And I was ten years old. Double Digits!
I feel like many kids go through this moment of self disappointment, because if life has taught me anything, it is that few human experiences are unique. However, I think the kids today are experiencing this pang of guilt far earlier.
For instance, did you know that there is a celebrity DJ in South Africa that is only 2 years old? And did you also know that a 4 year old girl just signed a contract to become a designer for J Crew? How about that 2 year old that just joined Mensa?
Can you imagine the level of anti-depressants that will have to be issued to toddlers of this generation? Seriously, what did the mothers of these children do when they were in the womb? I’d like to think this was all accomplished through a healthy diet and copious amounts of classical music through those belly headphones I always see at Target, but I’m more inclined to go with something stronger–like LSD.
I weep for the toddlers of this new world. Here they are thinking that it’s an accomplishment to go poo-poo in the potty and sleep through the night, when they should already be earning a living by spinning tracks in nightclubs, or designing their spring line or running the free world! How does poo-poo in the potty measure up to that?
If I were a toddler, I’d pull the covers over my head, strap on a new diaper, and go right back on the boob, because there is no way I’d be able to catch up on such a gigantic lead when I don’t even know how to tie my own shoes yet.
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La Dolce Vita 