When you’re a kid, you think you’re future is going to look like a rap video.
You think you’re gonna have a fancy car, a big house, lots of kids (like maybe 2?). You think you’ll always be traveling to fun places like Disney World. You think you’ll have a cool job that pays you loads of cash to show up looking stylish, like you’re living in a Jennifer Aniston movie. It’s such a sunny, happy, totally implausible situation, because nowhere in that dream do you imagine your ENTIRE paycheck going towards insurance. (Jennifer Aniston’s paycheck never went to pay insurance! It went towards cocktails and blow outs!)
Then you become an adult and the insurance smacks you in the face like a round house kick.
Car insurance. Home insurance. Health Insurance (times 4 if you have 2 kids). Life Insurance (times 4 if you have 2 kids). And that trip to Disney World even comes with travel insurance, because when one of your kids inexplicably starts to vomit his/her guts out, the night before you’re set to travel, you’re gonna want a rain check on that US$10,000 vacation!
It’s ridiculous how much Insurance adults need just to get by in life. And if you don’t get it–if you roll the dice on any one of these items (okay, maybe not the travel insurance), and say, let your policy lapse, you’re entire family may become destitute overnight. I mean, utterly devastated. Let’s examine this.
Can’t afford health insurance, but decide to have a kid anyway? Say you go into labor early and your baby is born premature. That’s like a week in NICU and you get handed a bill for US$100,000. Don’t even get me started on ACTUAL COMPLICATIONS. There are no amount of proverbial dishes you can wash to get yourself out of that debt.
Don’t have home insurance? One day your pipes burst, or your electrical wires catch fire: poof! There goes your house! Or maybe it’s not even your plumbing or your electrical problem: maybe it’s your neighbors, and you happen to share a wall. Too bad! If you’re not insured, you’re not compensated, and just like that, you’re out on the street.
Don’t have life insurance and you die? You’re family loses your income and at once is flooded with funeral expenses. (Hey, funerals aren’t cheap, plus they have to FEED every human being that you’re EVER come into contact with, because JAH KNOW, Jamaicans don’t miss a funeral!)
Doesn’t look like a rap video, does it? If you’re life were a rap video, you wouldn’t throw so much cash around on the street, or maybe give the strippers ones instead of twenties.
It’s like being an adult means you walk around every day with a giant dollar sign on your back called “just in case”.
And even then, you’re not entirely sure your insurance will actually be there for you in your hour of need. It’s like that lover who calls you up every once in a while and makes promises to you so that you to pay up. Then when it comes time to deliver on those promises, your lover goes back to his wife and totally IGNORES you in the supermarket.
And sure, you’re friends’ll be like: you have terrible taste in insurance, or maybe you should’ve valued yourself a little higher, and spent a little more on a good policy. Then you’ll be like: At least I have insurance! I still have to eat out once in a while and maybe get my nails done….I can’t be a slave to the insurance companies!
But when ‘just in case’ comes a knocking….you’re gonna realize you have to be a slave to something, and if it’s not insurance, then it’s going to be financial ruin. Thanks adulthood! So glad I raced through my childhood to get to you sooner.
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La Dolce Vita 