I’m not entirely sure at what age children stop believing in Santa Claus, I just know they stopped believing a lot earlier than I did. For some reason, my constant insistence of Santa Claus’ existence, began to irk my older cousins. They would say: “Amanda, you’re such a baby! Santa Claus isn’t real! Your parents put the presents under the tree! Look–that’s your mother’s handwriting.” And every time I’d hold strong in my convictions and justifications. “Santa Claus is old–that’s why his handwriting is so ugly, like my Mom.”
You could say that I was an extremely gullible child. Everything someone older told me, I totally accepted as gospel. The more unbelievable it was, the stronger I wanted to believe it. The more ludicrous it became, the closer I intertwined it with reality.
“Of course there is a tooth fairy! She buys baby teeth because she enjoys building tiny castles for all her friends to live in–like Fraggle Rock only bite sized!”
“Of course Santa Claus exists! Nevermind the fact that we don’t have a chimney and our house is grilled within an inch of it’s life to keep criminals out. Santa is magical. He finds his way in because he’s really an old ghost. He simply floats through the wall. And the presents? Sure, they aren’t ghosts, but maybe he covers them with an invisible, magical cloak, that allows them to come in and out. There is a lot we still don’t know about dimensions!”
I’d run home to Daddy, after being mercilessly teased by my cousins and say: “Tell me the truth–is Santa Claus real?” and every time Daddy would look me in the eyes and say, “why would I lie to you about that?”
Until one day, my cousins had enough. They tore my entire house up looking for my Santa presents (which they found at the back of my mother’s closet). I remember that moment like it was yesterday. “See!” They said, victoriously,
“From Santa! We told you, you idiot!”
And just like that–I would never believe anything again–especially if it came from my parents.
When I confronted my parents about this issue, all they said was “don’t ruin it for your brothers”. No apology for the endless lies and mistrust they’d manufactured for no apparent reason. No sympathy for the embarrassment I felt, having held out believing for so long. Just: don’t ruin it for your brothers. (As if I would become party to their on-going, pointless deceit!) “Why would I lie?” Said Daddy, over and over again. And just like that, I thought, “Why did you? What good did it do for you to keep lying to me?”
That was the last day I took anything they said as fact. It was absolutely a turning point in our relationship.
So, I ask you…..why are we still doing this Santa Claus thing? Does it really add anything to the spirit of giving associated with the holidays? Santa Claus only visits kids with parents who can afford to give presents, not the kids who may not even have parents. Not to kids who truly need things, like food and water, and a safe place to live. What does it teach your kid? That they are rewarded monetarily for doing nothing at all? It’s not like you are going to withhold their Santa gifts and destroy Christmas if they are ‘naughty’. It doesn’t make them better people, and at the end of the day, you are lying to them for no reason.
My friend says she goes with the flow. She doesn’t want to make her kid the one who ruins Santa Claus for everyone else’s kid. But why is everyone else perpetuating this lie??? Why don’t we all collectively decide, here and now, to stop lying to our kids, and feeding their egos and belief that they are at the center of the world. “Look at me–I’m getting tons of material possessions, for no reason at all. The entire world revolves around me!” Thinks your kid, every post-Santa visit. Is that really the kid you want to raise?
Instead, why don’t we practice the true spirit of Christmas and take advantage of opportunities to give back. Take your kids to volunteer and help less fortunate children, so they can truly understand and be grateful for what they have. Let your kids clean out their closets and toy boxes, and show them how to donate to the less fortunate. Demonstrate that Christmas is about GIVING and not RECEIVING. Perhaps then they will become a generation of sensitive, compassionate adults, and this world, that is plummeting to the depths of inhumanity, might have a chance to regain a little compassion.
Why not do that instead of buying a bunch of plastic crap they really don’t need and blaming it on the soon-to-be-disappointment-of-Santa Claus? Don’t you think your kids would gain more from you, if you stopped lying to them?
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Posted by Renee on January 8, 2015 at 8:19 pm
I told my kids the story of Saint Nicolas, he is what Santa is modeled from. They went to school and told their classmates and I got in trouble. For Christmas we used to make gingerbread homes and drop them off to the orphanages in Jamaica when we came down for Christmas. I always told my children that Christmas was Jesus’ birthday so that it was not necessary for them to have too many presents. After all, they had their own birthday.