Wedding planning–especially when it comes to the guest list–can be the beginnings of divorce for you and your future spouse. Every venue and budget has a limit, and sometimes that limit falls squarely on the nose of your guest list. I get it. Everyone who has ever gotten married and had to endure this particular problem gets it. The only people who seem not to get it, are people who have never gone through it.
So let me do you a solid, and share this info with the world at large: weddings are expensive! Lots of times you are forced by family to invite people who you don’t even know (or care to know). Your wedding has less to do with you, and more to do with your parents’ colleagues and friends, your fiancé’s parents’ colleagues and friends, and the guest limit enforced by your dream location. Unless you plan on filing for complete bankruptcy or divorce on your first day as a married couple, you will probably cut some guests, who under other circumstances, you would’ve loved to invite.
You have no idea how impactful this particular event can be on your relationships with your family and your future-spouses family! Grudges are held for decades to come.
For example, my father is still annoyed that my mother’s parents left his parents names off their wedding invitations…..32 years ago! This is the stuff that seethes under the surface for the rest of our lives. You may hear a complaint by a guest that they weren’t allowed a plus one! You may hear that someone who knew the bride when she was in high school hadn’t been invited, EVEN AFTER she called to congratulate her on the news of her engagement. You will hear that the wedding will never last, because so-and-so, who shared a close mentorship with the groom’s first cousin, was “snubbed” and not invited! All the drama around what’s supposed to be a private day.
This wedding guest list shiz never ends, people! It never ends!
It’s such foolish pettiness, because the 100% truth is that NOBODY has a right to witness someone else’s wedding. Not even their parents. When you decide to enter a contractual, spiritual agreement with another human being, in regards to the rest of YOUR life, you shouldn’t have to worry about hurting other people’s feelings–especially if you haven’t spoken to those people in over ten years!
So, from now on, if you have my name on a guest list for a wedding, and find yourself needing to make cuts, please cut me. I won’t feel offended in the least. I won’t call all my friends and speak badly behind your back. I won’t bad mouth your future spouse to all who will listen. I won’t send you repeated text messages to remind you how “in” your life I am. I will simply wish you all the best from afar, happy in the knowledge that your big day, will be one less guest complicated!
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La Dolce Vita 
Posted by Elizabeth on January 10, 2015 at 8:39 am
Eloping was the best decision we ever made, at least that’s my opinion on the matter, but then again this is not something we did in Jamaica, so who knows if we could have gotten away with doing that there. We, or at least I, would definitely have heard whispers behind my back.