Recently, I re-watched a reality show a friend of mine starred in, and something she said really resonated me. It was a show called The Revolution, and her personal goal was to lose a bunch of weight, and weigh in at under 200lbs by her 30th birthday. Of course, she accomplished that goal, and has set her life on an entirely different course since the show, in the most inspirational way possible…but back to what she said…. She said: All her life she was saying yes to others, and no to herself.
As a very social being, she was always receiving invitations to eat out, go for drinks, see a play, stay out all night…..and she said YES to all of them. As a result, she realized, she was saying no to herself. No–she wouldn’t eat healthily. No–she wouldn’t make time to exercise. No–she wouldn’t get enough sleep. And all this time, her friends were getting married, having babies, and leading lives that she herself, had never even begun to figure out. She was so busy saying YES to being a part of their lives, that she always ended up saying No to herself. Well, obviously, that changed the day she began to say NO to everyone else, and YES to herself. This small shift in priorities, managed to change (or rather, revolutionize), her life. This has really stuck with me, since the re-watching. (I’ve included the video in case your interest is peaked). Sarah’s Revolution
How many of us say YES to everyone else, and No to ourselves? Since I’ve been aware of this concept, it’s as if I’m seeing examples of this everywhere. Your friend gets a promotion? You drop your whole life to celebrate with her. Your friend gets engaged? You spend weeks planning the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and basically abandon your wants and needs in the interim. Your friend gets divorced, and needs a friend to eat a bucket of ice cream with her. There you are.
But what about you? When is it time to say YES to yourself?
How about those Friday nights, when you are absolutely exhausted from a long week of work, and someone INSISTS that you hit the clubs to celebrate some achievement in their life. Do you go, knowing that the next day you’ll be an absolute wreck, and still be forced to run all your errands, and attend your aunt’s 80th birthday party? Even though you know on Monday, you’ll feel like a walking corpse? Or do you say No to them, and YES to rejuvenating your body?
How about when a friend asks you to be a bridesmaid, and fork out over US$5,000 to pay for dresses, parties, and travel, to commemorate her life event? $5,000 that it may have taken you an entire year, or more, to save? Do you bite the bullet, shell out the cash, and hope you continue to stay friends after she relocates to another part of the world, to be with her husband? Or do you wish her well, politely decline, and say YES to saving for YOUR future? How about saying Yes to yourself, more often, and No to others? Will they hate you for doing what is best for you, or will they admire your conviction? At the end of the day, if they are your friend, they will understand and support you, in all you do. So why not be a friend to yourself, and do the exact same thing?
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La Dolce Vita 