The Inevitable

As we age on this blessed little rock, known as Jamaica, it is inevitable that we will begin dating younger and younger people. Or, if you happen to be young, older and older people. Reason being: there are so few of us to choose from and by the time we reach twenty-five, we’ll notice we’ve already dated everyone we wanted to date who’s our age.

The next step? Choose a different generation.

For example, my boyfriend Matt is two and a half years younger than me. It’s quite the trend these days to find more relationships like ours, with the girl being older than the boy. Perhaps it’s just me, but I’ve always found that younger guys treat me better than guys my own age or even older. Maybe it has something to do with them growing up and daydreaming about me when I was their school prefect. Who knows? Bottom line is, I am not the only one in this boat.

Likewise, my male friends are dipping younger and younger every year, perhaps because they date at a much more rapid pace. Where as my boyfriend is 2.5 years my junior, my male friends are dating a different decade entirely. I’m talking, they were in high school when the girls they are dating were born.

Again, nothing wrong with this. Like I said, living on this tiny, sinking rock, will do that to you.

As we age, I expect it will only get worse. If we have kids we’ll start dating their friends, or their grandparents. Or perhaps we’ll go online and meet a nice girl or guy from Europe or Australia or the US then high tail it off the rock, thankful for our lifeline away from this incestuous way of life.

Or we might just abandon the whole dating scene all together, disgusted by the monotony of dating the same group of people in multiple rounds.

Whatever the future holds for us sacred few who live here, I am steeled by the thought of the delicious, endless possibilities that await and all the gossip it will cause.

Hey–it’s not like I have a life, right? So I’ve decided to write a bit of a Dr. Seuss inspired rhymn about it:

When I grow up, who will I date?
Will it be Joni, or Mary or Lilly or Kate?
Will we fight or be merry?
Early or late?

I know eventually, I am destined to date
Either Joni or Mary or Lilly or Kate.

If Mary is mean, and full of bad schemes
Lilly will certainly fulfil my dreams
And if I tire of Lilly, I’ll move on to Kate
Kate is the girl you take on a date

When Kate gets too serious, surely Joni will play
I’ve heard from my friend she’s a roll in the hay

But what happens after I date,
Joni and Mary and Lilly and Kate?

Do I go back to Mary, who started it all?
It’s true, Kate is the girl most likely to fall
But gosh, Lilly was such a ball
And Joni was cool, man, I liked them all

But not enough to choose just one
Sure, the girls are lots of fun
But they give me so much bun
How do I know if they’re the right one?


Jenna and Ashley are young and fun
They don’t care if I give them bun
They’re not concerned with being number one
God bless these children, for now, I’m done

…..Ha ha….I didn’t say I was any good at poetry. I just said I don’t have a life….

For more fun, check out THE NEW YORK CATCH & THE RED ROCK CAFE.


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